'Live life like Ethan. Be kind': The Chapin family honors son Ethan one year after heartbreaking Moscow murders
"I thought if anybody had a story to tell - it's me, mom." It's been one year since four University of Idaho students were murdered in the college town of Moscow.
This publication is Part III of a four-part series.
Ethan Chapin was brutally murdered in the early morning hours of Nov. 13, 2022. He was one of the four University of Idaho students killed in a house on King Road in the quaint college town of Moscow. He was only 20 years old.
On the one-year mark of their son's death, Stacy and Jim Chapin talk about on their efforts to move forward, preserve Ethan's memory and "live life like Ethan. Be kind."
"Literally one year ago...we were celebrating these amazing kids that we raised," Stacy recalled with tears in her eyes. "We were like 'okay, maybe we can step back, take a deep breath and say: They [Ethan, Hunter and Maizie] are going to be okay.'"
In an interview with Ethan's parents at his former fraternity house, they talked about their lives after the loss of their son. The last time they saw Ethan alive was at the university's annual 'Parents' Weekend' in 2022, two weeks before he was killed.
Ethan was a triplet. He, his brother Hunter and his sister Maizie all attended the University of Idaho - a decision they made together.
"We thought: 'They have each other and they are going to live the best life. You know, the three of them together.'"
RELATED: Watch the full interview with the Chapin family here.
RELATED: Kaylee Goncalves' parents remember her and best friend Maddie
November 13, 2022 The day of the murders
When Stacy and Jim Chapin received the news that their son was one of the victims in the murders, they were in absolute shock, and immediately drove to the Moscow campus.
"I think the very first thing I told Maizie and Hunter when we picked them up on the evening of November 13, one year ago, was that 'I don't know what just happened here, but this will not sink our family. It won't'."
"I've found a place to tuck Ethan in my heart," said Stacy. "You just have to get up and put your best foot forward. We made a decision to do that back in late March, and we have stuck by that. You get to a point where you have to carry on, as hard as that is."
A Healing Step 'When your kids are happy, you're happy'
Hunter and Maizie returned to the University of Idaho in the spring of 2023. The Chapin's say they needed a sense of normalcy after the loss of their beloved brother. They are getting there one step at a time.
"Just knowing that the two kids, Hunter and Maizie, are doing well, is a relief for me," Jim said. "It was very important that they carry on and go back to school. I'm just glad that they are doing well."
"It's literally all that matters...as a mom, right? When your kids are happy, you're happy," added Stacy.
"For our kids and our family, this has been a tremendous place for our kids, the friendships that they have, the support system that they have here is priceless for us," said Stacy. "What happened is not the university's fault, it's not the Moscow Police Department's fault. All of those people, Idaho State Police...everybody who has helped us, we cannot say enough about them."
The Chapin's love to talk about Ethan. They were quick to share all the things that made him so special, even as a baby.
"He was easy, he was so easy," Stacy said with a sweet smile. "He must have known it from the beginning. He was just going to have to take easy street because there were two other babies there, someone was going to cry until they got the attention, and Ethan was like, it's fine I'll just wait my turn."
"Maizie and Hunter loved to be around him, everyone loved to be around him," Jim said. "He just had this magical thing with people. People just wanted to be there with him."
"That's a word we haven't used in describing him, but it's true. He had a magical thing about him. He touched people, it was amazing," said Stacy.
Ethan's parents say he was in love with his college sweetheart, fellow University of Idaho student Xana Kernodle. Xana lived at the King Road house, she was one of the four victims in the terrible crime. The Chapin's expressed how happy he was with Xana, and they got to see that firsthand.
"We were blessed to spend the summer with Xana and Ethan," said Stacy. "The most important thing that people should know is that Ethan was exactly where he wanted to be. We say in our family, he was in the right place at the wrong time. He was a college kid who was in love, and it's where he stayed most nights, we all knew it. They were very sweet together. We all know where Ethan was, and we have no regrets over it."
Life After Loss 'The Boy Who Wore Blue'
Months after Ethan's tragic death, Stacy wrote a children's book about Ethan called 'The Boy Who Wore Blue.'
"That was his 'triplet' color," Ethan's mom said with a smile.
"All the kids had a color when they were born; that way we could tell them apart," Stacy said as she remembered her children as babies. "Yeah...Ethan wore blue."
Stacy was driven to write the book after seeing so many news articles and stories about Ethan and the other victims.
"People can write and tell stories and say what they want. We kind of had to come to terms with that," she said. "It just really bothered me. I thought if anybody has a story to tell -- it's me, mom, it's the family, it's the people who raised him. It's just something that I woke up compelled to write. It's a wonderful story and it's a reminder to live your best life. Live life like Ethan. Be kind."
The Chapin's started a foundation in his honor.
"It's called the Ethan's Smile Foundation," said Stacy. "People want to genuinely help our family. How do you help a family in this situation? We had money in a 'Go Fund Me' account, so we put all of it into the foundation and we will scholarship kids. That's the goal."
Stacy appeared on the Today Show to talk about the book and the Ethan's Smile Foundation with Savannah Guthrie.
"It's the only thing I have left as a mom, and that is to be his voice," said Stacy. "Do I wish we were not under these circumstances and that we weren't doing some of these things, hell yes. I'd live in a cardboard box on the street to have my son back. But that isn't going to happen. So, I will talk about him until the end of time."
Ethan worked at a tulip farm in Washington, Tulip Valley Farms, and that farm created a beautiful yellow tulip in his honor. It's also called Ethan's Smile. That smile comes up a lot when you talk to people about Ethan.
"His smile was just amazing," Jim added. "He always smiled that big Ethan smile, but his heart was even bigger than that."
RELATED: University of Idaho murders 1 year later: Moscow community
RELATED: Watch the full interview with Kristi and Steve Goncalves here
Justice 'Your entertainment is our family's life'
"We won't attend the trial," said Jim with a deep sigh. "There's nothing there that's going to bring Ethan back, and so we decided to take the positive energy that we do have left and use it somewhere else. We will leave the trial to the prosecutors."
Bryan Kohberger is the primary suspect in the quadruple homicide.
Kohberger is charged with first-degree murder and felony burglary in the killings of Ethan Chapin, Xana Kernodle, Kaylee Goncalves and Madison Mogen. Prosecutors allege that lab results determined Kohberger was a positive match to DNA on a knife sheath, found next to two of the victims' bodies.
Kohberger, a former criminology student at Washington State University, was arrested in December 2022 at his family home in Pennsylvania. He was extradited to Idaho on Jan. 4, 2023, to face the murder charges.
The Chapin's have been vocal about the fact that they will not be attending the trial of the suspect in Moscow murder case. They won't even speak his name.
"Nothing changes the outcome for our family," said Stacy. "It already took one of our kids, it just can't sink the rest of our family, we just can't. So, it's a choice. We won't go to the trial."
"People who are fascinated by true crime, it's an entertainment to them, and I just want them to know that your entertainment is our family's life," Stacy noted.
Stacy said she wants to remind people that there are real families involved in these crimes.
This year, Stacy attended CrimeCon in Orlando. She was invited to be on panel with other families who have experienced tragedy and loss on a national scale, and to talk about the positive things that she is doing to honor her son. She wasn't sure she wanted to go at first.
"CrimeCon is a convention for true crime aficionados, and there is a huge national following of true crime in this nation. We happen to be at the epicenter of it," Stacy said. "I actually got to meet with a group of 24 victims' families that are in a similar national spotlight, and I was curious if there was a support group there."
"I happened to be walking by when they were doing an Idaho session, I wasn't going to walk in, but there were some things that they were saying that weren't quite right, and it got my ire up a bit. There were 3,200 people in this room, it was standing room only. They were doing a question-and-answer session, and there was a live mic and I thought, well, here's my chance."
"So, I just said: 'I have something to say, my name is Stacy Chapin, and my son was Ethan.'"
"You could have heard a pin drop in that room."
Paying it Forward Ethan Chapin Memorial Scholarship
In late October, the Chapin's were at Ethan's former fraternity house for the presentation of the first-ever Sigma Chi Ethan Chapin Memorial Scholarship.
"It's an endowed scholarship, they raised 125 thousand dollars from the public, and it's a $5,000 scholarship that will be given to this chapter every year forever," said Stacy. "The recipient this first year is Hunter, he is receiving the first memorial scholarship of Ethan's and that's pretty special."
When Hunter Chapin accepted the scholarship at a special presentation, he received a standing ovation from his fraternity brothers. Everyone in that room knew how meaningful this honor was for Hunter.
Ethan Chapin will live forever on the walls of Sigma Chi in that award. It will hang in the fraternity house for years to come.
"He'll be watching, he will," said Jim.
The family said that Ethan's legacy is simple. It will be helping other students achieve their dreams through education, whether that be through the Sigma Chi Foundation or the Ethan's Smile Foundation.
"It's scholarships for kids, any kid, any dream, in Ethan's name. It's the best we can do for him."
On the one-year mark of Ethan's death, the family arranged a gala with family and friends within their community in Washington as a way to honor and remember Ethan. The night also raised money for the Ethan's Smile Foundation.
RELATED: Chapin scholarship awarded at University of Idaho to brother of victim
RELATED: For more information on the Ethan's Smile Foundation, and how you can donate to the cause, click here.
One day, Hunter and Maizie will one help to carry Ethan's legacy on. For now, they are focusing on healing, and just being college students.
"We have protected them at all costs," their mom said. "We want them to be kids, we want them to start where they left off and to be college kids growing up like they are supposed to do. For the most part, they are completely insulated here at the university and that's the best place for them."
The Chapin family is determined to find a path to continued healing, together.
On Stacy's arm, is a special tattoo with the phrase: "I love you, mom" -- in Ethan's handwriting from a card that he gave to her as a little boy. She keeps him close that way. She says he will always be in their hearts.
"He genuinely was one of a kind. If the world lived life like Ethan, it would be a better place."
"We were a great family before, and we need to go on and continue to be that. We need to do that for Ethan."
Watch the full interview with the Chapin family below:
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