SEATTLE — Nearly one year after four University of Idaho students were murdered near campus, their families are finding ways to remember them.
Ethan Chapin was one of those students, born and raised in Skagit County. His mother has written a new book and the family has established a foundation honoring him through scholarships awarded in his name.
This month, Chapin would have turned 21 years old.
I sat down with his parents to talk about how their family is doing, what comes next, and Stacy Chapin’s new book, “The Boy Who Wore Blue."
Stacy Chapin: I just needed people to have the true story of him. For people who know him, it’s a little bit of a memoir. And I think for people who don’t know him, it’s literally the message of how Ethan lived his life.
Taylor: Tell us about him.
Jim Chapin: Ethan was truly one of a kind. He was.
Stacy Chapin: He was an exceptional kid from the day he was born.
Jim Chapin: I mean, he just lived life to the fullest. He kept everybody in check.
Taylor: And not just because he was 6-foot-4.
Jim Chapin: No, no. There was just a way about him that. He had a good message – just be yourself and have fun and do good for everybody.
Stacy Chapin: I just miss him walking into a room and giving you a hug and making some funny comments. And he just, he was amazing.
Taylor: Is there anything that you miss the most?
Stacy Chapin: Hugging him. Oh, I would give anything. Yeah, that's it. I would give anything to hug him again. In his blue coat, his blue puffy Patagonia coat.
Taylor: How are you after almost a year?
Stacy Chapin: It's shocking. It's been a year. We spent - I call it a period of time, there was about five months that I'm in - I call it the depths of hell. I mean, we went there. We've been there. I think you have to go there, in order to start the journey out, that is the process of healing and figuring out how you live your life without this person that's been in it forever.
I have a place kind of where Ethan lives in there. And it's a safe spot. Um, you know, I think overall under all of these circumstances, I think we’re doing well. This thing took one of our kids, but it can’t take the rest of us.
Taylor: I think about Maizie and Hunter a lot because I'm a multiple. And there's a unique, special connection that multiples have that other siblings do not have. And so, I’ve thought about them often. Having lost a piece of themselves. Yes, in losing their brother.
Stacy Chapin: Jim and I can sit here and tell you what it feels like to lose a child. I honestly cannot tell you what it must feel like for Maizie and Hunter to lose literally a piece of them. It's profoundly different for them than it is for us.
Jim Chapin: They came home in mid-May after school's out. And they spent all summer at our Idaho home and both worked. And it seems like they healed a lot during that period of time. It’s just going to take time. For us all.
Taylor: When we send our kids off to school to college, we think it's one of the safest places they could be.
Jim Chapin: Yes.
Stacy Chapin: I mean, Moscow, Idaho.
Taylor: Not in your wildest imaginations, dreams or nightmares even, right? Could you imagine something like this?
Jim Chapin: Literally the week before, and just had the best time of the kids. And we would never think something like this.
Stacy Chapin: Ever. It was the best weekend. We were in the King Street house that weekend. I mean, you know, you just. We were like, what? These kids are living their best life.
Taylor: And then a week later, your son calls you.
Stacy Chapin: We got stuck in traffic in Everett. And we're literally sitting there. That's what I remember. And what do you do?
Taylor: Trying to get to Idaho.
Stacy Chapin: Trying to get to Idaho. Trying to get to Maizie and Hunter.
Taylor: And you’re not knowing what is happening. You put a post on social you sent it to me that you spent no time being angry. That would not be energy well-spent.
Stacy Chapin: We can't bring Ethan back. I mean, let's all be honest, nothing we can do can bring him back. And when you know, when you start to feel angry, it literally can take you down a rabbit hole that just isn't a healthy place to be.
Taylor: So what does justice look like for you in this?
Jim Chapin: The person who is in jail right now that it's going to, it's going to take care of itself. You know, nothing we can do or say, or anything is going to change? What's going to happen to that individual?
Stacy Chapin: Yeah, I guess that would be my answer. Justice for me is that the system will work how it's supposed to.
Taylor: In fact, you have no plans to even go to the trial to even be in the courtroom, from start to finish.
Jim Chapin: There's no closing for me. Whatever happens in that trial, there is no closure. The only closure I have is knowing that my family is good and healthy. And we move on with our lives and do what we were doing prior to this terrible thing that's happened to our family.
Stacy Chapin: It’s a choice. You know, you just have to tuck that kid somewhere in there and I'm thankful for the 20 years we had with him. Totally. A hundred percent.
Taylor: We are coming back up on parents' weekend and a big birthday for your kids — 21.
Jim Chapin: Twenty-one was something that we talked about forever, having these triplets turn 21 was going to be the greatest. The greatest night ever. That night cannot take away from Maizie and Hunter. So, you know, parents' weekend, it'll be a little bit camouflaged in parents' weekend, and then we'll go out and we're gonna celebrate Maizie and Hunter.
Stacy Chapin: We cannot forget that that's the priority. Find something that you feel like brings you joy in a day. There is always something there, no matter how dark the day feels. We’ve found it, every single day.
Taylor: So you have a tattoo on your arm.
Stacy Chapin: I do. Yes. Jim showed up one day with Ethan’s name "E-Dog." That’s what I called him. So it’s from a note Ethan wrote me, probably in the 4th grade and he just signed it, "I love you Mom, Ethan." He would love the tattoo. He would be honored that we are honoring him in all of the different ways.
From "The Boy Who Wore Blue:" He was selfless, caring generous and warm. And wherever he went, the friends would all swarm. This tale, the story of the boy who wore blue, is a message for everyone, including you. Life is short, so give it your best.
Jim Chapin: We want to pass on his positive energy to other kids.
Taylor: That's his legacy. For us.
The Chapins have set up a foundation in Ethan’s memory. Ethan’s Smile is a foundation honoring his love of life, people, and adventure. Money raised goes to post-high school scholarships for students from Conway, where he grew up and students at the University of Idaho.